My Experience Dating in Japan — The White Guy Perspective

A few weeks ago, my good friend and I decided to do a joint writing project about Japanese culture and society. After all, such a complex, deep and stratified social framework can’t be understood from any single vantage point — especially not that of white guy who’s only been here a few years.

The first topic we agreed to write about is dating. Specifically, dating Japanese people in Japan. Kayo wrote her piece from the perspective of an outgoing, independent, and overall awesome Japanese lady. Be sure to check it out here. As for my piece, well, I did my best to convey what navigating the Japanese dating scene is like for your average white dude. Enjoy!

Caveat Emptor

I’ve been in Japan for about four years now. I’ve been single about half that time, and I’ve been on my fair share of dates. To give a ballpark figure, let’s say more than five, but less than a million.

As a 30-something, not particularly outgoing, average-looking white male, the most effective way for me to meet people has been dating apps. Since I can read and write in Japanese, I prefer Japanese apps to, for example, Tinder, although I’ve used both. There have also been a few people I met organically in real life, but they were few and far between.